The house feels so very empty without you, little one. You made our days brighter and we still cannot believe you are gone.
You were, and always will be, my girl. I remember the day you came into my life – I was a kid of 19 and you were the sweetest little kitten. You would wake up early and run up and down the hallway, as loud as an elephant. I hated leaving you when I went to work but you would always be waiting for me when I came home.
It’s funny to think that some friends I have known for years never even met you – you were devoted to me and weren’t really interested in getting to know other people. When Chase came into our lives, I think you knew he loved animals and would never do anything to hurt you – and you became the best of friends with him too. You were his feline muse, and he is lost without you too.
Waking up is not the same without you breathing and purring over my face. Your tummy was your alarm clock, and you would wait impatiently for me to get up and feed you. I miss our morning ritual. Before I fed you, I would scoop you up in my arms and we would open the curtains together, and look out at the trees and the birds and the neighbourhood. You were the perfect fit for my arms and nothing will ever be able to replace you.
The day after you left this world, we woke up early and went for a walk to give us something to do other than cry. We picked sweet-smelling freesias from down the road and we have done that every morning since you died. I will always think of you when I smell their fragrance or see them growing wild and free. We are going to plant a garden for you and in spring it will be filled with freesias, and your favourite – catnip.
Sometimes, our minds play tricks on us and we think we see you out of the corner of our eye, or hear your toenails padding across the kitchen floor. We know this is part of grieving and our hearts not wanting to let you go. It is because of grief and our love for you that we still open your cat door of a morning and close it each night. I think we will keep doing it until the day we move from this house.
You were such a big part of our lives, Mousey. And life is not the same without you. Our friends and family have been so very kind to us and understand you were our little mate. We were a team, a family unit. You knew if we were upset or had a bad day and you’d comfort us or make us laugh with your funny ways. You’d also let us know if you were mad at us for staying out too late or we invited people over – but you always forgave us, especially if there was a can of your favourite food involved.
There is so much I want to write about you Mouse and someday soon I will, when the heart is not so raw and I can remember all the happy days we shared together. Just know how much we love and miss you – and you will always be our girl.